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Validating feelings in a relationship, what is Validation and Why Do I Need to Know?

Finding The Peace

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Validation is an art, the more you practice the more refined your skills will become. Being overwhelmed with emotion is not a pleasant experience. When they share more, we learn more and are more likely to help them in a supportive, non-threatening way that gets at the root of the problem.

When each person in a relationship feels they are not being heard and understood, they up the ante in order to be heard, creating a cycle of negative reinforcement. One relationship skill particularly useful in avoiding this spiral of miscommunication cycle is validation. When you offer validation with no strings attached, the likelihood that your partner will in turn reciprocate increases greatly. Validation helps the person know they are on the right track. When you notice these patterns you can do something about them.

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In my experience, the results are well-worth the effort. Self-validation is the step that comes before self-compassion. Life can be confusing and difficult. There are often barriers that impact our willingness or ability to follow through with this healing step. You may have said something, your partner responded in a critical tone, and you became defensive and reacted to that.

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Validating feelings is being able to sit and listen to the feelings, not fix them, not give advice and not minimize or talk the person out of the feelings. And while reflective listening is a very good and necessary skill for good relationships, validating feelings goes a bit deeper. Prevent this by rehearsing validating responses ahead of time. This may give the unspoken message that the feelings are not okay.

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The Importance of Validation

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After a statement of validation is shared, stop and listen to what the person says next and then try to help justify those feelings. Validation of feelings needs to be talked about because we, as a society, are uncomfortable with intense emotions. Statements of Validation Try to validate the feelings the person has shared. We are not confirming that the feelings are right, or correct, or even okay.

What is Validation and Why Do I Need to Know?

Nothing is more important in a relationship than being understood. When both people in a relationship feel heard, understood, and accepted, the relationship is on solid ground.

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Validating does not mean love. Barriers and Fears of Validating While we may recognize the importance of validation, caleidoscopio significado yahoo dating it is not easy to do.

Validation from others is one of the best tools to help emotionally sensitive people manage their emotions effectively. Establishing these basic connections lays the foundation for emotional safety. Once this is achieved, they gain the emotional and spiritual strength they need to deal with the challenge. Reflective listening is used by reflecting back to the other person what you heard him say. The goal of validation is genuine empathy.